Friday, July 23, 2010


I just threw away my photo album that had any pictures of me (and others) in it.

I can't carry stuff like a photo album with me, much less the books that meant everything to me, or the drums that were spirit inspiring, or the computer that has been attached to my hands since computers hit the scene, or the juicer and other kitchen appliances I use to eat with. Along with that, gone is the ability to get my left hand to actually use some of these things.

Dino Manes David, a dream catcher
The picture gracing this blog entry is of a most wondrous life artist, Dino Manes David -- not someone I knew personally, but someone whose talent I admired. The dream catcher she is holding in her hand (note the teardrop inside as opposed to the usually seen circular ones) is a craft I've tried to duplicate or find a way of duplicating.  However, she took the knowledge of it with her to her spiritual world. Personally, I've always felt a sense of loss at not being able to create such beautiful art/spirit pieces.

The 5 things I kept from the now gone photo album were:

  • a photo of me with my first two teeth;
  • a photo of me with Taffy, the dog that was the love in my life during my formative first 6 years;
  • a certified copy of my birth record;
  • a black and white photo of either Taffy as a puppy or Chinkie, the other pekinese that was my maternal grandmother's, the absolute first dog I ever knew in the world -- since it's a black and white photo of an odd size, I'm guessing it's Chinkie; and,
  • two identical photos of me at birth (one given begrudgingly to me by my maternal grandparents in my teens and one, joyously framed and given to me by my biological father after I met him,for the first time, sometime in my 30's).  Apparently both sides of my biological family were given the same photo.  Interesting.

Everything other picture (proof of some event) is gone.

Some people lose things because of death. Some people lose things because of disasters like fire, flood, earthquake. Some people lose things because of war, strife and violence. Some people lose things because they misplace them. Some people lose things because someone else steals the thing. Some people lose things because they may be unable to function within the parameters of the societal paradigm they are engaged in. Some people feel loss because they feel they can have no effect upon the world or their life.

Loss is everywhere. So what is it really?

Is it the loss that is important, or how we look at it?

Loss is loss. People may try to tell you one loss is more important than another. I don't believe that. It's a judgement value and the importance of a loss depends on where you perceive yourself in relation to what you place value on.

I believe if you've lost something whether it's a beloved person; or a beloved item imbued with the spirit of your life; or a part of your body; or a part of your mind; or a part of your spirit -- it holds importance.

Grieve for it and recognize your grief.

You are important, therefore what you value is important.

When some one or some thing we value is no longer, does that mean other things have no value?

It can be easy to fall into that pattern. When you've lost the most important aspect (person or thing or reason) of your life -- no matter what you conceive that to be, it's very easy to fall into the pattern that nothing else has value.

Where do you go from there?

There's no concrete answer, just like using a computer -- there are many ways of doing the same thing or getting to the goal.

The only advice I have for you, is the same I have for myself --> pick something to value if you don't already have something to value, focus on it, be in the moment, be aware, and take action.

None of us will be able to do the same amount. None of us will move at the same speed. None of us value the same things equally.

Know that you have value. Act on that value.

Act on your dreams.

Value yourself.

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