Friday, September 2, 2011

Thoughts on a film

In 1998 a film came out ... I never saw it, nor heard about it -- until a day ago.

However, *now* is the time it could have an impact on me.

What Dreams May Come, 1998

At the time it came out, I would only have been able to view it for what it appears as face value:
theological, mate/family oriented. The film at that time would have had no impact on me, as theology and mate/family has no value for me -- not then, not now.

However, if you look at this film as a metaphor or allegory of a fragmented person pulling all of the various splinters of them-self into one cohesive whole ....

... having those various splinters learning how to work as a team, collaborating, communicating and co-operating ...

.. you won't perceive the film in terms of someone's paradigm of afterlife and heaven vs hell.

You'd feel it in terms of life *now* and of healthy vs unhealthy: mentally, physically, emotionally, energetically, and spirit.

Some people dearly want to be joined with others. That's not of any consequence to me. I want to be joined with myself. Yes, I want friendships with others, but the primary relationship I want is to accept myself as me, as who I am.

The crux of the film for me, was the cry of an institutionalized person (self) asking "Why aren't you in here?" Meaning "why aren't you here with me?"

That was something I was able to recognize and tie in with. Particularly from the noise inside -- from various parts of me strafing other parts of me with the same cry.

You may call me crazy. Get in line. ::grin::

To quote from the film, "What's true in our minds is true, whether some people know it or not."

I've worked diligently for over a year, to gain the necessary tools to transform my sense of self into one that is healthy and one I'm thrilled and comfortable to have.

As I grow in a healthy relationship with myself, I grow in my ability to have healthy relationships with others. I grow in the ability to have relationships not marked with trauma that isn't even mine, yet had been taken on because my boundaries were battered to nothing when I was unable to escape.

I had to leave bits and pieces of myself alone to survive. More accurately, those bits and pieces left me alone. So I could also identify with another character who responded to the institutionalized one with, "... because I couldn't join you, so I left you alone."

We learn from the actions of others whether something is okay to express or not okay to express. We learn from modelling. We *learn* -- whether what we are *learning* is healthy or not.

I am fortunate to have found this movie within the last two days. It provided the opportunity to join with other parts of myself. I find that to be worth cheering about.

To anyone who crosses my path, I share this:

It takes great courage to be yourself.

You have what it takes to be yourself.

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