Windy

Amazing.

I expected this post to be on previous members of my family before an incident of homelessness -- Le Pounce, Sly, McTavish, Starlight, Athena, Why Not?, Wild Thing.  That will have to wait.

Today, I'm thrilled to find another piece of my life -- it too, a poignant one.

Along with an opportunity to listen to an author of a song that was a theme song for me when I was young, I get to troll memories I didn't realize I had.

Remember the song Windy?

Here is Ruthann Friedman, the song's author singing it:



Here's the Association singing it as a hit on the airwaves in '67.



And, yes I was an impressionable 13 years alive at that time, and I dreamt (or if you're a stickler, I fantasized) I was Windy.

Today, I am an impressionable 56 and 3/4 years alive -- and I have the rare opportunity of being in the audience at LAVA's Sunday Salon 8/11 this weekend to observe Ruthann Friedman.

Perhaps you have to be in my mind, to me it's a fully intriguing occurrence with the opportunity to re-incorporate my put-away and denied visions into my current life.

What brings that opportunity knocking at your door?

Do you choose to open the door?

Archive shots of my previous drums

There's no other way to label this and I have to get it onto my blog asap, as I don't want to lose these while I have the .jpgs in my hot little hand.

Thanks again to InvisiblePeople.tv for the iPod which now miraculously records my voice -- something I NEVER could get it to do until two weeks ago -- and I've had it for -- well it'll be a year come November.  Ya gotta love electronics.

Thanks to my old computer for reviving as much as it has, it held the .jpgs.
Thanks to the folks who stored it for me while I was homeless, so that today I can rescue the ,jpgs  to make this slideshow.

Now, without further ado ... for my picture book:



Play well, mes amis.

This moment in time is our life and it is what we make it.

If you ever doubt that, listen to your heart.

Crikey!

Again, folks this post is for me ... however, you are welcome to eavesdrop. :)

It's also for the folks who are keeping track of me via my posting until I get all my e-mails sorted out -- which is on hold until I get a decent online backup provider.  Negotiations are currently in progress for that.

We all have times when it's necessary to get pieces of our lives back together.  For me, there is no better time than *now*.

Word up -- there is a forthcoming article for anyone interested in finding online storage.  As soon as I finish the altercation I'm having with one provider I'll be sharing that article, along with recommendations for potential online storage locations you may want to explore.

Back to the photo --

The pic shows one of my passions -- me onstage telling tales.  One of the many things I *like* to do.  My forte is mystical, fable, wizard/magic, and fantasy.  And, yes, I do tell others, just more rarely.

Yes, I look different.

I was wearing contact lenses which I had for most of my life.  Had to give 'em up when I became low-income and then homeless.

Contacts lenses are a huge expense.  Plus there's trying to get 'em in and out daily and keeping the store-bought chemicals along with other considerations -- glasses were more economical and easier to keep track of.  Now, it's been so long, I'd have to readjust to wearing them and the cost to get new contacts is hideous. ::grin::  So glasses it will continue to be.

My teeth were still in my head.  Changes the smile quite a bit. ::snort::

This photo is a fav of mine, so it's going up on this blog to let me find it in the future.

People keep asking me what I like to do -- this photo shows off one of my passions.  Busking is a part of that.

A lot of folks get a grin when I share with them that many moons (read decades) ago, when Pasadena had Busking Licenses -- I had one for storytelling and facepainting on the streets.  A busking license?  Don't you just go on the street and busk?

I don't know anymore -- at that time you didn't if you didn't want to be rousted in Pasadena.


As a homeless advocate it gives me thought to ponder -- do buskers today get rousted as panhandlers?  Is it something I could go back to?  I'll have to give that more thought.

In the meantime ... Crikey!

A farewell to one who graced me with their last moment.

Live your life to the fullest.  Protect yourself when necessary.  Trust your intuition.  And remember to explore reality with an open mind and heart to find your own truth.

Birds are creatures who nurture and protect their young most diligently.  Nurture yourself.  Nurture those around you.

Nurture those you have contact with.

And drum with me a farewell to my little friend, whom I only knew for a few moments today.

You could have had a melodious, bubbling song, but now you never will,
except for in my ears.
You could have had little bobbing movements when you chirped
that expressed the joy of life. 

Not anymore except for in my heart.

Wren, Bran's Sparrow -- you were one moment, and the next you were
blood and guts smashed on the street.
The person who hit you probably doesn't even know it. 

Thunderbird now carries you through the skys and the Dreamtime.

All my relations, I call on you to witness the bright moment that was this little one's life.

 

Only the four humans -- me; the lady who took you out of my hat where you originally landed and accidently put you on the wrong side of the sidewalk; and the other two ladies who watched you get hit unable to do anything about it -- knew of you.

I sang and danced my song of farewell for you, while two others cried.  The other people on the street looked at me like I was crazy -- Except for the one other lady, who pulled you out of my hat -- she who was ready to rush into the street and try to save you -- just as I was ready to do at that instant.

I looked at her afterward and spoke softly to her, knowing she probably didn't understand what I was saying -- we speak different languages. But words are only 7% of what we communicate, the other 93% is nonverbal, and my spirit flowed with the nonverbal.

"It's all right.  You did the best you could.  I did the best I could." 

I know not why the little one picked my hat to fall into apparently on its first flight out of the nest.

All my relations, it is never an accident or coincidence when one of you comes to me.

I wish I could have done more than just giving the song of farewell.

It is one of the reasons I had to leave animal rescue because so many of my animal relations came to me on the brink of death, asking for companionship and awareness in their final movement.  My heart couldn't take it after it happened so often ...

All my relations, in the spirit of your messenger, and so someone other than me will know of the beauty that was this little one's life I will share this with any human that chances upon my written words:

Live your life to the fullest.  Protect yourself when necessary.  Trust your intuition.  And remember to explore reality with an open mind and heart to find your own truth.

Birds are creatures who nurture and protect their young most diligently.  Nurture yourself.  Nurture those around you.

Nurture those you have contact with.  Be aware.  Awareness is a most priceless gift.

Awareness is not fixing.  It is not healing.  It is not making things better.

Awareness is using yourself to express "You have meaning."

A few lost things found

I spent part of the day with a family who met me through Skip1 last Sunday.  They asked me a number of questions, and I returned the favor -- asking questions of them.  I hope to see some of the video they shot, I'm looking forward to sharing it with you.

Some of the questions I get asked most often by people are variations of "What did you lose?  How did being homeless affect you? What do you have now that you are housed?"

If you watch InvisiblePeople.tv you'll see/hear many stories and thoughts from myriad people who find themselves homeless.  My story is no different, in fact mine is up on that venerable site.  If you listen to it, you'll hear me extemporize on how prejudicial and short-sighted it is to deny a people (in this case those of us who endure homelessness) the standard tools of society because somehow we are deficient and not-as-good-as.

I'm a philosopher.  No, I'm not trained in philosopy.  Just because I am not officially graded or judged in something, does not mean I don't have a clue.  This holds true for anyone, you or me -- just because we are not officially graded or judged in something, does not mean we do not have a clue.

The part of me that is a philosopher answers the questions I'm asked most often like this:

Homelessness, for me, was the manifestation of loss I was already feeling.  The loss of the roof over my head was the final straw in a series of losses including: awareness of self; income; the use of my hand/arm among other health issues; self-confidence; and self-efficacy.  My first episode with homelessness began when I was 17 1/2.  If I hadn't of been bent on getting my high school diploma, it would have begun at 15 1/2. 

Being homeless from August 5, 2010 to February 2, 2011 put me in touch with people vibrant enough to help me regain my voice.

Now I have the ability to *be*

While I bring my computer back online -- a slow and arduous process -- I'm also rescuing a few things from an old computer as well.  In many instances I'm re-opening wounds that were not healed; I'm finding some of the bits that were lost; and using each circumstance to live in the moment and transform.  Some things may be lost to me for the long-haul, others may resurface.

Here are some pix of my 51st birthday -- that'll be 6 years ago come mid-November, which represent one of the largest and most emotionally wrecking things I've lost -- but to explain it would take a book -- so for now I'm simply going to let the pictures share -- and if you're wondering why I'm taking the time to put this up on my blog?  It's for me, if my old computer dies -- which it's been trying to do for years; and my new computer dies yet again (which it's already done twice in less than 8 months) at least I can come back to this blog and see the pix.

Moi, telling the tale of Puff the Magic Dragon

My 51st birthday party was my favorite ever.  I planned it, paid for it, threw it, and hosted it.  At a wonderful place that no longer exists physically.  Bang-a-drum.  I was there for Bang-a-drum's birth, its many drumcircles, and watched it close.

I purchased a huge amount of handdrums and percussives over that few years.  When I became homeless 8/5/10 they were distributed among folks who share my passion for the framedrum, drumcircles and the entrancement of drums heartbeat.

This is Chris -- the *father* of Bang-a-drum facilitating my 51st birthday drum circle

Chris owned Bangadrum.  He and his wife were awesome!  He graciously accepted my request to facilitate my birthday drum circle (along with one of his employees).  The Djembes and other accoutrements always available for experimenting on in the store were inspiring.

This is my birthday twin singing Puff the Magic Dragon at my request.

Born on the same day about 12 hours apart, one on the west coast (moi) and one on the east coast (my friend) -- the woman has the voice of a lark.  As you can see by our garb, I made it quite clear to those attending that if they wanted to come in fantasy RenFaire gear or dress up in some other dream of their own, to do so.  I was honored that everyone who attended did so.

A teller of tales extraordinaire!

Some of the finest people I know are tale-tellers.  This is a woman whose Irish lilt always drives me into a tremendous desire to have it as my own -- what a wonderful voice, what a wonderful sound!  She continues to tell tales and share bountiful life.  She (and her mate in the top hat, who has since died) will always be a source of inspiration to me.


And this is me holding time with a dun-dun.

Of course, I cannot resist the pun ... that means this blogpost is dun-dun ... er done (yeah, it's not the right pronunciation for dun-dun -- but, it is my blog post so ... phlbbffsstt)!

Laughter and Awe are important in our lives

The accident that befouled my computer totally for 3 days (and the prelude which had kept me limping on it for 3 1/2 weeks prior) ultimately has given me some great gifts.

More, in fact than I can count in this post -- it would take up waaaaay too much space.

The good news for friends patient enough to wait to hear from me, is I will be back online and social in about another 7 days.

I still have not installed my e-mail reading app, so e-mails are behind by at least 4 weeks in all accounts.

At this point, I'm still testing installations (a slow process), refinding things, and re-building trust with my system functioning.

The old clips of me telling some of my favorite stories are apparently gone.  The good opportunity springing from that is I have the brilliant gift of a FlipCam, and a dynamite tripod -- so I'll be setting up those tellings in present day.  And, of course, I'll be posting them here, because at least I'll be able to find them again in the future.

I believe in laughter and awe.

Here are 4 of the recovered things that bring me immediate laughter or awe (or both).  May they keep you occupied while I keep working on my return to the social world.

Laughter:
My personal favorite out-take

Inspiration:
Peter O'Toole, Man of La Mancha (1972) - I, Don Quixote

Inspiration:
Puff the Magic Dragon, Peter Paul & Mary

AWE:
Shibaten Spirits


Note to self and friends:

I have a limited backup (due to physical size of the holding unit).  As I get programs back up and running on my beloved Toshiba I am restoring the files from my backup in incremental sessions.

I've also researched online cloud storage, and found one that will suit my needs, albeit expensive.  I hope to avail myself of it next month.

Yes, I checked out the free online cloud storage, and 2GB of storage is a drop in the bucket.  What I have been able to restore so far is in excess of 68GB -- and for what I normally keep onhand -- that too, is a drop in the bucket.

No, I'm not back on Twitter or FB yet.  That is important to me, however, getting my computer set up to function without snargling needs to be taken care of first.

See y'all soon.

#PromotingWellness -- A Series of Outcomes: RYF 8/13/11

Thanks to the Promoting Wellness Conference, one of the bits of paper that made it into my hands was about the 7th Annual Rainbow Youth Festival.

I'm having difficulty accessing the web given on the handout, but here's info easily findable on the web you can share with folks.

Free
Saturday, August 13, 2011
2-7pm
LGBTQ Youth and Allies Ages 14-24

The Facebook Event page for it:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=186719641388676

Also check in with LifeWorks on FB and their website www.lifeworksla.org

#PromotingWellness -- A Series of Outcomes: Steve Lopez

"Come hear from a journalist who has presented lived experiences and stories of homelessness from LA's Skid Row through his book The Soloist and the LA Times article series From Skid Row."

This is what was printed on the agenda for the Keynote Speech.

I've been looking at my notes from the conference.  All 15 pages of them.  I was flabbergasted to find that I only had 3/4's of a page of notes on Steve Lopez's talk.

I'm flabbergasted because I was heavily impressed with Mr. Lopez's sharing.  I expected to have pages and pages of notes on what he said.

If you're involved with music you know the feeling of "being in the groove".  Others will speak of "being in the flow".  Athletes "get their game on".  In yoga, t'ai chi chu'an, chi kung and meditation there are phrases people use for the experiential sense they come across.

Your sense of passion is kindled.  You "feel" the "entirety".

It's that sense of magick.

That's what happened for me listening to Steve Lopez.

Marketers try to create this sensation in people, because it's what makes people "buy-in".

To understand what was so impressive about Steve Lopez's dialogue you needed to be present for the nonverbal communication.  It's not what you say, it's how you say it, so to speak. Only about 7% of our communication is words, the other 93 to 94% is nonverbal.  Mr. Lopez is brilliantly coherent in both his verbal and nonverbal communication.

When the verbal and nonverbal communication are saying the same thing and you feel they are genuine -- you are in the presence of power.  Those are opportune moments to safely learn and transform/accept yourself.

Such was the gift of Mr. Lopez's sharing.

Everyone got something different from what Mr. Lopez said.  This is what his sharing enabled me to find language to express (these tell more about me than they do about Mr. Lopez -- one of the gifts of a talented presenter is to let you find out what's important to you, by sharing what's important to them):

Keep your eyes and ears open.

How do you root for someone?

Are you a safe human connection?

Are you a friend or are you just trying to fix someone?

Assess the situation. 

You need patience.

If you keep at it you can make a difference.

We wring our hands -- as if we're surprised that something happened.

Are you taking someone back to a place where it's difficult for them to be?

It's always an adventure.

You spin the wheel of life -- who knows what you're going to get?

Does someone inspire you?

I found myself wishing Mr. Steve Lopez was my friend.  I found myself inspired.

Mr. Lopez's keynote speech let me recognize what I want to be as a friend.

Conversely, it let me be aware that I have the right to establish what friendship from others is for me.  A life-altering concept because the adults in my childhood life pounded into me the belief I had no right to expectations and needs -- I was there to take care of them.

This may not have been the exact thing Mr. Lopez wanted a person to take away from his keynote.

But, who knows what you're going to get?

If you have the opportunity to see/hear Steve Lopez speak ... take it in a heartbeat.

Here's how to follow Mr. Lopez on Twitter:
LATstevelopez

Here's how to read some of Mr. Lopez's journalistic articles:
Steve Lopez

And here is his Facebook page you can "Like"
Steve Lopez Facebook

What would happen if you rooted for someone?

#PromotingWellness -- A Series of Outcomes: SOAR

One of the outstanding informational segments of the conference is awareness of SOAR.  A program that should be on the lips of ANY service provider in any field.

Another Breakout session I missed while attending others was entitled "Expediting SSI/SSDI Applications".  The CD provided by the conference facilitators again proves it's worth many times over!

*Note to my partner in debriefing: There are two excellent PowerPoints regarding SOAR (Expediting SSI/SSDI Applications) and (SOAR Implementation in a Transitional Housing Setting), I have to share with you.  Also a fistful of printed information.  Along with the business card of a Senior Project Associate with SOAR, she is a part of the TA Center and SOAR State Team Lead Contacts, whom I had the luck to meet briefly during the Outreach Breakout session.  But I can't find any of them online, so again, it will need to be on a flash drive I bring to our next meeting.

For now, I am hellbent on bringing awareness of the SOAR website to everyone's attention.

SOAR: SSI/SSDI Outreach, Access and Recovery for people who are homeless

SOAR Outcomes 2010 -- look at the average days to decision.

In accordance with the precedent I've set in sharing this information about the conference, a bit more of my story now:

I'm an SSDI recipient.

Had the SSDI come through in a reasonable amount of time, I could have averted being homeless entirely in this episode.

My process began in April 2010.  It could have begun in February 2010 if the agencies and individuals I was approaching had intimate knowledge of SOAR.  I knew I was going to be homeless starting in August of 2010.

I say "reasonable".  What's reasonable to one person is often off-the scale for another.

When I was homeless, I had an ersatz virtual case-worker -- this was the person I trusted-in and counted-on the most.  The people I was involved with in-person were less than forthcoming with me, either through strictures placed on them at their workplaces or through the limitations of their own experience and knowledge portals.

My virtual case-worker (never officially designated my caseworker by any agency, but this person spent countless hours of blood, sweat and tears as a catalyst  for paths out of my situation) expressed honest verbal surprise when I did actually receive my SSDI, December of 2010.  The process had been less than a year from my application to my notification of award, yet long enough that I was homeless and unable to find safe low-income housing when it did come through.  It was through that person's honest response to me that I was able to deal with many of the shaded answers I was receiving from others.

Anyone in the field apparently is aware that from application to award *standard* waits have been anywhere from 2 to 7 years (or longer) with numerous battles after initial rejection for SSDI.

If you look at the outcome rates SOAR is documenting (evidence-based) you'll see that response times have been as low as 39 days, and average out to around 90-ish days.  THIS IS AMAZING! And it needs to be talked about, shared and disseminated.

SOAR is a fully viable, exciting, and successful means to keep people from languishing in shelters and on the streets because the only income they may be receiving is the $210 a month from GR and $200 in food stamps if they are lucky.

You want to bring a ray of hope to the eyes of someone?  Learn about SOAR, keep it on the tip of your tongue, and above all, learn how to use the processes they are putting forth -- because the processes can be used in any number of fields.  Collaboration, Communication, Champions.

All SOAR TA Center services are available on a limited basis at no cost to states or communities participating in SOAR.  For more information, e-mail soar@prainc.com

I don't understand why so many of the people in the field of help care are not willing to state what is real rather than couching responses and replies in shaded terms that ultimately wind up having no meaning.  It destroys the trust relationship between themselves and their clients.  I can only guess that it may represent some form of defensive posture -- due to the litigious bent of our society.  It could also be burnout, unrealized prejudice or any number of things.

The worst thing a help care worker can do is set the stage for destruction of trust in the relationship with themselves and their clients by shading answers.

It doesn't make the relationship effective to fog the situation (from either side, provider or consumer) -- People Know When We Believe In Them.

SSI/SSDI is a life saving factor.

What if instead of making our processes complicated and difficult to navigate we made them simple and efficacious?

#PromotingWellness -- A Series of Outcomes : Trauma

Breakouts I missed (by attending other sessions scheduled at the same time) were "Trauma and Its Impacts" and "Facilitating Recovery through Trauma-Informed Practices and Trauma-Specific Interventions" sessions.


There are a series of  handouts copyrighted by Cathy Cave and Niki Miller from Services in Supportive Housing TA Center.


Because I cannot find a version of the slideshows already on the internet, I am not posting them here.

To my cohort (the one I'm debriefing with, she knows who she is ::grin::) -- DM me, I am currently checking Twitter about every 24 hours, and fortunately, through the CD given to all attendees I am able to look at their written material, which I feel important to pass onto you..  I consider the PowerPoints invaluable.

To everyone else reading this post, I am recommending you peruse the following informational material online currently available at HRC:

Avoiding Re-Traumatization and Fostering Recovery Among People Experiencing Homelessness

HRC's Homelessness and Traumatic Stress Training Package

Finding Your ACE Score

If you read on, know that the rest of this post is an expression of my story, not the work presented by any of those above.


"You should have known!"
"You should have said something."

Ever hear these phrases?

Imagine that you hear at least one of them.

How do you feel when you hear it?  What body parts do you notice a response to the phrase in?

My immediate mental knee-jerk reaction when I hear those phrases is:  "Exactly how am I supposed to have known? Exactly what should I have said?"  My immediate physical reactions vary widely.

The phrases are some I hear in the present, not only from well-intentioned people with whom I have established levels of trust (my trust of them) but also from people who are acting on their own agenda and are doing what I call 'shifting blame'.  I also heard the phrases ad infinitum in my past.

The phrases trigger (whether I want them to or not) intense feelings that can perhaps be understood if I express them with the new language I've been learning at the conference.

• The phrases trigger intense feelings about being:
• unseen and unheard -- silenced,
• trapped, 
• powerless,
• unprotected and vulnerable,
• threatened,
• set up with no privacy boundaries,
• blamed and shamed,
• thrust into crazy-makingness,
• betrayed, and 
• isolated.

My personal belief is that no one escapes being faced with trauma.  My belief also extends to this: Some people have been around others who were skilled/talented in illustrating how to deal with trauma, and have learned adequate or superlative coping skills.  Some of us have not.  This is true not only of "consumers" but of providers.

Of course, the main reason I feel it's important is because it affects me.  And, being aware of the many things my comrades on the streets and in shelters have shared verbally with me -- trauma and re-traumatization is a common story.

Familiar with ACE? My ACE score is 7.  Why is that important and what does it mean?

It is important because as each of us finds our voice -- our words and language -- our expression grows.  And having words from the information surrounding ACE -- to share what's going on in me with others -- gives me a chance of being heard and perhaps understood.  Which gives my peers that same chance as well.

It means I am in a position to help bring awareness to this provocative information that can transform worldviews and bring about the end of homelessness (along with other social ills).

Personally it reaffirms my choice of advocacy.

So when someone uses a phrase that triggers me, I am offered a chance to grow, express and transform.  It's always possible to turn a circumstance into a constructive growth process.

Healing from trauma, like healing from a physical injury, is a natural human process. ~Mollica 2006

#PromotingWellness - A Series of Outcomes: Self-Care

I had the opportunity to attend a conference August 1 and 2, 2011 in downtown Los Angeles.

Promoting Wellness: An Integrated Approach to Homeless Service Delivery

I highly recommend it to you when it comes to your neighborhood.

Don't let the title fool you.  The conference was about many things. And the best means I have of *delivering* what I learned to my community is through this blog, because I can easily share this blog through my social media outlets.

My previous post on non-compliance was sparked by this conference.  I had no words to express what I was feeling in regard to the fact that many of us -- "consumers" of help care services --  are labeled non-compliant until I attended the sessions at #PromotingWellness.

It was especially poignant that in one of the role-play dialogues, the first day of the conference, I was shouted down at my table for being non-compliant.

That table experience lead me to the very same feelings I've had when dealing with service providers during the two years leading to my homelessness and the 8 months of my being " a person experiencing homelessness."  During that time so many service providers handed me dictums and I bravely (or foolhardily as I was told on occasion) started saying "No, that is not something I can live with."

First and foremost I have learned a bit of language at this conference.  My goal with that is to express (more clearly for others) things in my consciousness I've been carrying around, with language others can understand.

If you know me well, you know that I am often frustrated by the fact that I see and observe things and yet cannot find adequate means to communicate it to others.  Others look at me and respond in a variety of ways some of which include,

• "Huh?"
• " ::blank stare:: "
• "I didn't get that"
• "Would you repeat that using different words?"
• "  ::wandering off muttering, 'Chick is crazy'::   "
• "Dog-gone it Rd, I cannot understand  your code!" (I personally love this one because it comes from someone I value highly)

Having the tool of language that others use on an hourly basis is a means of increasing my feelings of self-efficacy.  A valuable outcome of any conference.  Extremely valuable as some service providers give it to their clients, for instance, PATHAchieve Glendale has an EMDR therapist who shares the value of giving language during #WellnessWednesday Stress Management and Parent/Family Groups each week.

This hour's post is on one of the very important concepts carried throughout the Promoting Wellness conference:  Self Care.

While it is aimed directly at those in the high-burnout field of Help Care Delivery, it is valuable to each and every person.  Because at the very crux of things, we are all the same:  human species; with feelings, goals, desires; and the need to be nourished.

As a trainer, I am impressed with not only the information but the fact that it was incorporated into the conference setting as a main stage event several times during the day under the title "A Taste of Self Care."

Katherine Volk was the presenter.  I'm impressed with her.  Especially since she was presenting some of the same techniques that I have been looking forward to presenting to my own peers.

As well, I'm totally on-board with her comment of "take the information from the disk we've included in your packet and share it.  Print it, e-mail it, pass it out to your friends and co-workers".

I've taken her literally.  Please be aware the link material is Copyrighted (2008) by The National Center on Family Homelessness

That said, here's information on Self Care:

What About You? A workbook for those who work with others.

What if you gave yourself some time to read the information and experiment with it?

What's in a label?

Non-compliant.

What are you aware of as you envision non-compliance?

What do you feel when you label something or someone as non-compliant?

If you say no to something are you non-compliant?

If someone says no to you are they non-compliant?

Are you a help care or service provider?

If someone says no to the help/service you want to provide, is that someone non-compliant?

What effect does your label of non-compliance have on the person you are labeling -- even if you do not say the label to their face?

Are you trying to persuade me to change?
Are you assuming you know what's best for me?
Are you criticizing, shaming, or blaming me to invoke change?
Are you labeling me?

Are you surprised I'm not changing?

Am I non-compliant?

May I offer you some hospitality? Would you consider exploring another viewpoint with me?

People Know When We Believe In Them

A Taste of Motivational Interviewing

How would life be different if we all had safe places to explore conflict and difficult realities?