Internet is my lifeline, so to speak.
The fact that this last month and a half has been a trauma-drama in gaining, accessing, and using internet has given me many challenges.
Part of the reason it's been challenging has to do with my personal need to be reliable. It's danged hard to be reliable when your basic means of communication is wrested from you and, in fact, seems to be running in the other direction at a rapid pace.
One of the constant messages I share, is that each moment of our life is an opportunity and we have choice -- perhaps not on what the moment is, but on how we view it and how we are going to use it to further our goals to be nourished or depleted.
Whether you are on the streets, or housed, bureaucratic red-tape can feel strangling, hopeless, and unresolvable.
One of the things Derek Rydall writes makes perfect sense to me, and I've had a chance to experiment with it during the snafu happening with a major high profile internet service provider:
"They" are not a group of people, but a pattern of thought that pervades ... and has gotten so entrenched it's become personified. It's a mass hypnotic spell making many deep-down decent people run around out of their minds (and hearts).
It's far easier for me to experiment with smaller "they's" like the internet service provider, than to contemplate dealing with the larger "they's" I also have to contend with at the moment.
Though it wasn't easy from my point of view to say these words, "No, I am not going to pay for services you are providing that are not working." Say, them I did, and have continued to repeat them through countless telephone conversations and technician appointments that didn't materialize.
The words have been heard and responded to.
That bears repeating, "my words, my voice, has been heard and responded to".
No small thing, my friends. Many of us share a passion, how to empower ourselves and others. It is imperative that you, no matter your circumstances right now, recognize that you can take back your power.
Whatever your current circumstances, whether they are horrific, magnificent, or somewhere inbetween you can choose to acknowledge what you have accomplished and what you have.
You can also choose to use what you have.
Trust your voice. Practice using it every chance you get -- including talking to yourself.
I am currently using a second service provider, thanks to a gift from a close friend the other day. That service gives me, now, a consistent internet connection.
The fact that my computer chose to destroy it's hard-drive a few days before that also gave me the unexpected chance to again practice taking back my power. I took the computer back to where I purchased it, and used these words, "Thank you, yes, I want you to fix the computer since it's under warranty. Since it's going to take you 10 days to diagnose the problem, and then up to 8 weeks to deal with the manufacturer to get the replacement part, I am going to need a loaner laptop."
I did have to repeat the phrase numerous times before I achieved my goals -- fix my computer and give me something to reliably access the internet with while you're doing it.
For a person used to **not having their voice heard** this too is a moment of triumph and one to be used in the larger challenges still looming.
It's going to take more practice. I share that for a reason. If you are anything like me, I want to encourage you to continue practicing. Keep using your voice, regardless of the medium your voice expresses in -- and acknowledge yourself.
If I can do it, you can do it. Acknowledge and nurture yourself. Take back your power.
